Birth: Shit Happens
Infancy: Shit in my pants
Adoloscence: Who gives a shit?
Teenager: I don’t take no shit from anyone.
Twenties: I think I know something but I don’t know shit.
Artist Phase: I am the shit.
Artist Phase Ends: I am shit.
Career: I do, in fact, take shit.
Marriage: Get my shit together.
Three shots of Juan Julio and no condom: Little shit.
Parenthood: I’m covered in shit, but now I realize none of that other shit mattered.
Forties: God, I wish I could take a shit.
Divorce: We split up our shit.
Grandparenthood: Finally, you can experience all the shit you put me through.
Retirement: Was all that shit really worth it?
Home for the aged: Shit in my pants.
Death: The shit hits the fan.