. . . Friday February 15, 2008

Palpable Mass on Our Role Models

There is no joy in Mudslingingville. Mighty Congress has struck out.

During a day when we had to watch Roger Clemens come off as being wildly less believable than his scumbag trainer and former syringe pumper, who do you think came off the worst?

Oh, you know who. You know exactly who.

There is almost never an event during which we get a good, long look at our Congress in action when the members themselves don’t come off as the biggest assholes in the room.

And so it was during the endless hours of investigation of a long past “palpable mass” on Roger Clemens’ buttocks. Members of Congress were pathetic. The partisan nature of the questioning was an embarrassment (and this is an area where we thought our shame sensors were totally desensitized), as was the wanton hero worship (Clemens was told he would be going to heaven, was described in heroic terms and was asked which uniform he planned to use for his Hall of Fame induction). Even during more evenhanded moments, the members just came off as being terribly unimpressive folks interested in little more than taking the spotlight in a grandstanding time suck. How do we vote people into power who we wouldn’t trust with a mid-level job where we work?

The irony here is that this is all being done in the name of cleaning up baseball so America’s youth can have positive role models. You’d of course hope that your kid could look up to a member of Congress over a member of an athletic team. But as we know, that’s not the way it is. Who, other than an insecure nut bag with a few screws loose, could watch our political machine in action and want to do anything but run the other way.

And the political story will get even more upsetting before it’s over. Clemens dug himself a hole. The feds won’t be able to resist going after such a big fish. And Roger’s good buddy in the White House will likely throw down a pardon on the way out of office.

Concentration is important!