The California Supreme Court has ruled that workers can be fired for using medical pot. Is there, really, any more nonsensical set of laws that the ones around medical marijuana? So you have pain or a debilitating disease and pot gives you some relief (and is, by the way, about 10 times weaker than most of the drugs that would otherwise be prescribed). First, we needed voters in California to limit the exposure to prosecution for both doctor and patient (it often seems unclear why we don’t have to do that for every other prescription drug, especially those known to cause real damage). Now, the Court has ruled that even if you do have a prescription, you can be canned for toking off the job.

The court ruled against Gary Ross, a 45-year-old computer technician who was fired by a Sacramento firm for testing positive for marijuana despite a doctor’s note saying he needed the drug to combat back spasms that cause severe pain.

So let me get this straight. A company wanted an engineer who wasn’t getting high?

We might as well cancel the internet.

In the last 36 hours, I saw the centerpiece of my nest egg go from being an impressive stock portfolio to my decision to take the Giants and points in the Super Bowl.

Although my combination of investing in internet startups, tech stocks and underdog NFL teams likely puts me in the bottom percentile of financial minds, I imagine I am not the only one for whom the economy just became the big issue of this election.

Now when candidates discuss change, I am picturing quarters, dimes and nickels.

The big question is how will our current economic trend (assuming it holds for awhile) will impact the race for the White House.

To me, it looks like bad news for Obama. His dynamic speech-giving, calls for change and new face all count for a lot less as the economy shifts downward. I don’t want a fresh, new change. I just want the money I had 48 hours ago back in my account.

A lot of voters will feel the same. And they may very well recall that their jobs were pretty secure and their investments were doing pretty well when Hillary was First Lady. Another dose of “It’s the economy stupid” just might be enough to push Obama into a permanent second place position.

I could be wrong. I just hope I’m not also wrong about the Giants.

The Oscar nominations are out and the awards ceremony is just weeks away. The big question is whether or not the writer’s strike will be settled by then and, if not, will the strike transform the show into a glorified press conference.

This is the perfect time for one of the candidates in the presidential race to get involved in the strike. You can talk all you want about war and peace, the economy, our foreign policy, taxes, and illegal immigration, but if you really want to hit Americans with something they can feel in their gut, give them back new episodes of CSI and Hannah Montana. (Aside from this blog) Television is the one unifying force in American life.

In the average American household, the TV is on for a cool 8 hours and 14 minutes per day. You could offer American families breakfast in bed (including hash browns) for the duration of your term in office and not get the kind of positive bounce as you would if you let us watch something in primetime other than Real Housewives of Orange County, dance offs and, well, you on the cable news channels. Getting the Oscars back in all their glory is just an added bonus.

Kucinich, are you listening? Rudy, forget Florida, think Family Guy. Edwards, the two Americas you need to be thinking about are the one that watches a insane amount of TV and the one that watches an unthinkable amount of TV. Thompson, you are perfectly positioned and if it all flops, you don’t even need to travel to get back into your real job. McCain, don’t tell me you don’t watch Prison Break. Hillary, want the tears to have an impact? Save them for a fresh episode of Grays Anatomy.

And this a no lose situation. If you act as a intermediary in the strike and the strike goes on, already frustrated Americans will blame Hollywood, not the politician in shining armor. And if the strike is settled under the watch of one of the candidates, it is a guaranteed win in November.

The only other way to guarantee such a victory would be to give a speech in which you admit that the only reason you keep endlessly repeating the word Change is because you think we’re all a bunch of fucking idiots.

Seems like solving the strike is more likely.

The Crunchies were held last Friday night and, aside from seeing Om back on his feet, the highlight of the evening was watching Fake Steve accept an award for the iPhone via video. Apple did not send a representative, so Fake Steve stepped in to handle the task. I especially enjoyed his description of how he responds when folks suggest he’s arrogant.

Video Cheatsheet: You just need to know that the iPhone won an award and that the awards were called the Crunchies and that the hosting blog is written by Michael Arrington. Here it is:

After watching the oddly disturbing Tom Cruise Scientology Indoctrination video, I realized it might be useful to contrast the way Cruise sells Scientology with the way Judaism is positioned.

So here goes. Below you’ll find Cruise quotes from the Scientology video with my counterpoints from a Jewish perspective:

TC: When you’re a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you’re the only one who can really help.

Dave: When you’re a Jew, and you drive by an accident, you know you actually can do something because you’re a fucking doctor. (If the car in the accident is a Mercedes, BMW or Volkswagen, you can just keep on driving.)

TC: We are the way to happiness. We can bring peace and unite cultures.

Dave: And Vhat’s so Vonderful about happiness? You never call your bubbie, your Uncle Asher’s boil is so infected he may lose the toe, your namesake David was beaten by the goy three times a week, and you should be happy?

TC: And I’ve got to tell you [Scientology is] rough and tumble. And it’s wild and woolly and it’s a blast. It really is fun.

Dave: You feel guilty most of the time. You go to Hebrew school while the other kids are playing flag football and finger-fucking. You eat Chinese food on Christmas. Your relatives say words like Bubkes. Most people blame you for all the world’s problems. Madonna recently became a spokesperson for your religion. You suck at basketball. Heck yeah, it’s a blast.

TC: Being a Scientologist, you look at someone and you know absolutely you can help them.

Dave: Being a Jew, you look at someone, and you can be pretty damn sure they’re an antisemite (and yet you’ll be the one who feels guilty).

TC: Am I gonna look at that guy or am I too afraid because I have my own out-ethics … I won’t hesitate to put ethics in on someone else because I put it in ruthlessly on myself. I respect that in others.

Dave: You can never, ever be carrying too much Purell.

TC: You’re either on-board or you’re not on-board. OK? If you’re on-board then you’re on-board just like the rest of us. Period. We are the authorities on getting people off of drugs. We are the authorities on the mind. We are the authorities on improving conditions … We can rehabilitate criminals. We can bring peace and unite cultures.

Dave: You can worry about saving the world just as soon as I’m sure that your Haftorah portion won’t humiliate your grandparents.

TC: So they said, have you met an SP (note: this is a so-called Suppressive Person who criticizes Scientology)? [Cruise laughs hysterically] … It’s not how to run from an SP … It’s how to confront and shatter suppression. You apply it and it’s like boom. Because they don’t come up to me and do that. They don’t do that. Not to my face … where they think they can be confronted.

Dave: If you want to get a deal on a car, you’ve got to be willing to walk off the lot. The dealer might look you in you in the eye and tell you he can’t go one dollar lower. Start walking. He’ll go lower.

TC: I wish the world were a different place where I could just go on vacation and romp and play, you know what I mean?

Dave: They gave us a choice. You want your own country or you want the Catskills?

TC: I don’t care if someone thinks it’s hard or easy. You’re either helping and contributing everything you can or you’re not. OK? Because I’m carrying my load … You can see the look in their eyes. You know the ones who are doing it and you know the spectators … That thing, I’ve canceled it in my area. [Cruise laughs oddly]. Man, you’re either in or you’re out. That’s spectatorism and we have no time for it now … Get those spectators either in the playing field or out of the arena.

Dave: I just paid ten bucks to see Mission Impossible 3 and you want me out of the arena?

TC: I think it’s a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist and it’s something you have to earn. Because [a Scientologist] has the ability to create new and better realities and improve conditions.

Dave: No, we’re not going to have a Christmas tree. No you’re not gonna get any presents on Christmas morning. No you can’t hang a sock from the mantle. Carols? Hell no. Think that’s rough? Hate being stuck in the minority religion? I’ve got one word for you kid:

Latkas.