Huckabee’s What Really Matters ad translated:
“Are you about worn out from all the television commercials you’ve been seeing? …”
I begin my commercial with this trite and condescendingly asinine question (rolling an ad asking if you’re tired of ads) because I think you are an absolute friggin idiot.
“… Mostly about politics, I don’t blame you.”
Why would I blame you when we can both blame the Jews?
“At this time of year sometimes it’s nice to pull aside from all of that…”
You know, that. Critical thought. Secularism. The fact that my wife’s maiden name is McCain. The New Yorker.
“… and just remember that what really matters is the celebration of the birth of Christ.”
You can embrace this birthday by doing something as noble and holy as using Christ to garner cheap, ego-driven political gain, or you can just reflect on the fact that Rudy Giuliani is most likely spending Christmas with gays.
“On behalf of all of us …”
Us of course refers to me, Jesus, the guy who whitens my teeth and any Mormon who admits that their religion is sort of kooky and agrees to vote for me.
“… God bless and Merry Christmas.”