. . . Monday November 15, 2004

Everything Turned Upside Down

Great news out of Indiana for conservative values voters. Legislators look like their finally ready to do something about the state’s sexually charged interstate (it may as well be called an intercourse).

Now I don’t want to oversimplify this issue. Interstate numbers are supposed to increase as one moves from west to east. Therefore, Indiana’s southern interstate should, in fairness, be numbered something like, say, I-63.

Oh yeah, there’s also that other factor. As plans are made to extend the interstate from Indianapolis all the way through Texas and into Mexico, many conservatives are more concerned than ever about innocent Americans being forced to haul ass down Interstate-69.

Now the conservatives and local religious groups have Congressman John Hostettler seeing things their way:

“Every time I have been out in the public with an I-69 button on my lapel, teenagers point and snicker at it. I have had many ask me if they can have my button. I believe it is time to change the name of the highway. It is the moral thing to do. Naming the road I-63 not only follows numbering guidelines, it doesn’t have the sexual undertones that I-69 has.”

It’s the “moral thing to do?”

Whatever happened to do unto others?

…. OK, so this story is sort of an Onion-like parody. And the truth is that the real political movement around I-69 has to do with the environment (Save it. Don’t Pave it). But here’s the rub. It’s almost impossible to parody the moral police in these times. Every story, even this one, sounds pretty darn plausible.

Concentration is important!