. . . Tuesday November 2, 2004

But Will He Call Me in the Morning?

Once all is said and done, the amount of dough spent by the various parties and groups will likely surpass the $5 billion mark.

All that money and there were no gift bags, no pie eating contests, no big prize raffles, no sentences that weren’t either run-ons or unintelligible, and Nader still refused to iron his suit.

I haven’t heard about that much cash being spent with no one getting laid since Anna Nicole Smith’s inheritance case.

A lot of the dough went towards airing commercials in the battleground states (we may be down to six of them). The folks who live in one of those unfortunate places were treated to a cool 675,000 commercials. In the last week alone, the two campaigns and their supporters spent $60 million on cable and local TV ads.

The various groups spent about three times as much on TV time as they did in the year 2000. Think about that. We last met four years ago when the country was split down the middle so narrowly that it took weeks to declare a winner. Now, four years and billions of dollars later, we enter this voting day split down the middle once again.

Maybe there’s a lesson here. The American people were underestimated once again. Our hate for the other side cannot be bought off! We don’t need no stinking wolves.

$5 billion just to convince us of what we already thought … Suddenly I don’t quite as bad about my therapy bills.

Concentration is important!