. . . Monday October 18, 2004

Is it Too Early for a Florida Recount?

Does it seem at all strange that the state least likely to get their electoral house in order on time would be the first to open up for voting?

Be that as it may, voting began in Florida on Monday. So did lawsuits. The early returns are in. They indicate electronic voting snafus, long lines, inadequately staffed polling places, and more.

Here are some other issues that have so far gone unreported:

- An elderly couple in Palm Beach said someone with a bad facelift threatened them with “another hurricane” if they voted Democrat.

- In Boca Raton, residents entered their voting booths only to find that they were given a choice between two tickets: Bush/Cheney or Sharpton/Kucinich. Boca election officials later apologized for the typo.

- In Gainesville, every time someone voted for Kerry, the city’s terror alert level was raised to red.

- Due to an apparently unavoidable computer glitch, Kerry backers in Orlando were forced to code their votes using an old copy of DOS.

- A group of African Americans were prevented from entering a Broward County polling place by two guys wearing black robes (one had a duck hunting rifle while the other was reading the latest issue of Juggs Magazine).

Concentration is important!