. . . Friday September 24, 2004

John Kerry Killed My Bible

Just in case terrorism isn’t one of your top issues (and therefore Cheney’s suggestion that a vote for Kerry equals a new terror attack on American soil isn’t quite motivating you out of the undecided column), the GOP has now admitted that they are behind a multistate mailing which suggests that liberals are out to ban the bible.

Oh and by the way, they admit it, then they explain it, then they describe why it’s a valid message.

Remember the good old days when you could smear your opponent simply by suggesting that his questioning of your decisions was tantamount to supporting the enemy?

So let’s check the forecast. A vote for Kerry would mean an invitation to terrorists and an end to god. Wow. And I was already scared enough by the notion that we may have to see Janet’s boobie again.

And the Swift Boat Veterans are working on a new ad in which they describe a secret 1972 meeting in which Jane Fonda, John Kerry and Liberace discussed plans to raise Jesus Christ’s taxes.

Stay tuned for the next mailing in which the GOP uncovers John Kerry’s plot to replace the national anthem with an old Cat Stevens song.

And if you think these religious-based attacks couldn’t possibly work in the modern world, then you need to visit a few more states. There are huge portions of the country where the key election issues are god, guns and gays.

Concentration is important!