. . . Tuesday August 31, 2004

The Governor Arnold Drinking Game

A few years ago, there weren’t too many pundits who would have predicted that Arnold would be an opening act for Laura Bush at the Republican Convention (hopefully she won’t mind that at the time of her address the podium may still have the faint smell of ‘roids, body oil, elevator shoes and group sex). This is like Ron Jeremy opening for a Christian rock band.

So here is the Governor Arnold drinking game.

- Every time he says a line from a movie: drink

- Every time he makes a joke about his accent: drink

- Every time he says the word girly: drink

- Every time he using the suffix inator: drink

- Every time Arnold snorts coke off of the ass of a Hollywood starlet : drink

- Every time you allow yourself to really think about the fact that this guy is a governor and is speaking in primetime at a political convention: drink

Now this is just the game for the general public. For residents of California, the word drink should be replaced with the words move to Arizona, Nevada or Oregon.

And if you’re Gray Davis, you should probably start drinking now.

Concentration is important!