. . . Friday August 20, 2004

Everything You Need to Know About Politics

Months ago in Philly, John Kerry ordered a cheesesteak with swiss cheese. The order was widely reported and widely criticized (swiss cheese isn’t an option). Yesterday, President Bush launched a subtle offensive against the Kerry campaign by saying he liked coming to Philadelphia where he could get his cheesesteaks Whiz-with. Bush may be charged with the occasional language error, but on this one he was dead-on. Whiz-with is exactly how one would order a cheesesteak with Cheez Whiz (a down home and American choice vs Kerry’s European request) and onions.

The only problem is that the President lied. Although it made for good speech fodder, that’s not actually how he takes his cheesesteaks.

In the spirit of full disclosure (and feel free to make a note of this to use it against me later on), I am a vegetarian and I don’t really like cheese that much. Therefore, I usually make my cheesesteak order by saying Diet Coke. And when pressed, I just eat the bread and the onions. And that’s how you can expect me to one day govern. As a bloated guy with bad breath who won’t get with the program. In cheesesteak speak, I guess you’d call that American, Blog With.

Concentration is important!