. . . Thursday May 27, 2004

Pistons and Tailpipes in the Carpool Lane

According to the German magazine Men’s Car (which sounds like little more than a monthly print version of all those penis enlargement ads that arrive in your inbox), Porsche (pronounced Porsh-uh-uh-oh-ooh-ah) drivers are more likely than anyone else to cheat on a spouse. Nearly 50% of German male Porsche drivers admitted to cheating on their partners in a recent survey (based on the fact that this was a survey with no real incentive to be honest, I’d say we can safely round that number up to about 200-300%). Can you imagine what the numbers would look like if Porsches had a decent-sized backseat?

And if you’re looking to score with a married woman, follow that Audi.

Looking for something more secure in a partner? Try someone who drives in a 1983 Volvo. They neither cheat on partners nor have sex with spouses. Another safe choice, believe it or not, are Hummer drivers. They masturbate like of a son of a bitch, but they don’t cheat much (not for a lack of trying).

Concentration is important!