Us Magazine features a cover story on Jessica Simpson with the headline, How I Keep Nick Happy. While Jessica lists such helpful hints as “I make his hobbies my own,” it’s probably important to remember this is supposed to be “reality TV.” So let’s be real.
She’s rich, young, blonde, has insane knockers and keeps him famous. Trust me. Nick is friggin’ happy enough. It probably would serve a greater public good if Us featured a male teenager on the cover with the headline, How Nick’s Happiness Adds to My Unhappiness.
Which reminds me, only ten more days until The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour debuts on ABC.