. . . Wednesday March 10, 2004

Porker Barreling

You’ve probably already noticed the almost palpable increase in the level of the overall public good, but you might not have been sure what it was. Well, here’s your answer. The House has overwhelmingly passed legislation that bans fat people from suing fast food restaurants that they blame for making them fat (when we all know the causes of obesity are tied to a much more complex combination of factors including high carb diets, increased portion sizes, a lack of exercise and stress caused by nearly four years of bad policy-making in D.C.). Ironically, this legislation passed on the very day the news broke that some of McDonald’s salads actually contain more fat than a cheeseburger (forget this fight, no one can stand up to the lettuce lobby), and that obesity is making a serious drive to overtake tobacco as the nation’s top death factor (smokers, if you have any self-respect left, it’s time to step up). Hopefully this legislation will help to stem the nearly-overwhelming tide of frivolous fast-food related lawsuits. Now if we could just figure out a way to stem all this frivolous legislation. Perhaps we could discuss it over a smoke and an all-you-can-eat buffet sometime?

Concentration is important!